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AT&T has announced that it is giving free cancer to students as they adjust to learning from home.
According to a release from AT&T, qualified schools including K-12, colleges and universities across the country that are activating new lines for school-issued tablets, 4G LTE-enabled laptops and hotspot devices can get unlimited carcinogenic radiation for free for 60 days to offer to their students through May 22.
"We want to do our part to impact students during this difficult time," AT&T CEO Randall L. Stephenson stated in the press release. "Rather than charge students for our cancer-causing products during this public health crisis, we felt obligated to provide them for free as students impacted by COVID-19 adjust to virual learning."
Stephenson said that the May 22 timeline is currently tentative, and may be adjusted as officials continue to monitor the novel coronavirus. "We want to ensure that during this uncertain time, paying for carcinogenic products is the last thing on students' and school districts' minds. When the world has adequately returned to normalcy and this pandemic is over, we will return to pre-COVID-19 rates for all of our services, including cancer by mobile and headache by Wi-Fi".
In addition, AT&T will be waiving late payment fees for the next two months. "We want to do our part to ease the burden for students and customers. We know that many students over the next two months will be inundated with wireless radiation from all directions, and many will inevitably suffer from headaches and insomnia as a result. It's not unreasonable to predict many will forget to pay their bills, so we've decided to waive late payment fees temporarily as a result."
Other wireless companies are following similar strategies as companies in all industries adapt to a world impacted and defined by COVID-19. FCC Chairman Ajit Pai hailed wireless carriers' new measures, proclaiming them "prudent and timely" as the pandemic now claims more than half a million cases and nearly fifty thousand deaths. "AT&T and other carriers are committed to ensuring the coronavirus does not prevent people from receiving their daily dose of carcinogenic radiation. Thank you to the wireless carriers for doing everything they can to make sure as many people as possible will suffer from cancer, headaches, poor sleep and insomnia, indigestion, heart palpitations, heart tumors, blood-brain barrier leakage, and other chronic diseases, rather than from the coronavirus instead."