It's official - animal cruelty is now "in". Apps like Pawscout now have made animal cruelty, previously infathomable, stylish amongst those previously opposed to it. Pawscout is a mobile app which users can download to keep tabs on pets - not only their pets, but also their neighbors' pets.
How does Pawscout work, exactly? Pawscout uses a "low-energy Bluetooth radio signal to produce short-range, radar-style tracking within approximately 300 feet of a [pet owner's] smartphone". If a pet gets lost, nearby Pawscouters are pinged.
It's an excellent cover, says Andrea Chavez, the founder and CEO of Pawscout and Director of the Society for Animal Abuse. Pawscout's website has proven to be very effective, with enticing animated… — Read full post
According to a release from AT&T, qualified schools including K-12, colleges and universities across the country that are activating new lines for school-issued tablets, 4G LTE-enabled laptops and hotspot devices can get unlimited carcinogenic radiation for free for 60 days to offer to their students through May 22.
"We want to do our part to impact students during this difficult time," AT&T CEO Randall L. Stephenson stated in the press release. "Rather than charge students for our cancer-causing products during this public h… — Read full post
Grand Theft Auto is officially on its way out, as the new videogame "Electrosensitive" is breaking sales records, selling out in top video game outlets across the country.
"Electrosensitive" transforms the player into an electrosensitive individual, fully intune with her environmental surroundings. Players are dropped into a toxic 21st-century metropolis, full of electrosmog. Players level up by completing various tasks, many of which involve finding working payphones around town and then placing calls from them.
If that weren't difficult enough, players must also stay vigilant to avoid become debilitated and losing a life. A radiofrequency meter in the player's dashboard displays the current radiation levels in the environment, so players can guage their surroundings and … — Read full post
Two police cruisers were dispatched yesterday to break up an illicit deal that took place in the dark alley behind the 7th Street Mobil gas station. Both the dealer and the customer were taken into custody after the illegal transaction was interrupted.
Police were able to recover the contraband: six incandescent bulbs, enough to light a home without emitting dirty electricity or RF radiation for more than a year.
Smuggling incandescent light bulbs, which were outlawed years ago, is a felony in the United States and a serious crime. It is expected that both parties involved will be sentenced to life in prison for this violation.
Ramsey, the dealer, declined to answer our questions, while Stewart, one of Ramsey's clients, remained hysterical during the arrest.
Apple recently rebranded their line of wireless earbuds from "AirPods" to "AirCancer". Apple CEO Tim Cook gave us the scoop in a phone interview.
"At Apple, we take transparency very seriously," Cook told us. "We felt that as part of an ongoing effort to be more transparent to our customers, it just made a lot of sense. One problem today is that many people are not actually making as many phone calls using their iPhones. They're just using them to, you know, stream music and listen to podcasts. And as a result, they're not getting brain cancer nearly as fast as they would otherwise, since they're keeping it more often in their pocket than next to their head. Now, that has benefits, too, but brain cancer is unfortunately not… — Read full post
Perhaps one of the greatest advancements in humankind has been, undoubtedly, the mobile (aka cellular phone). Everybody uses a mobile for pretty much everything now, but unfortunately, not everyone has gotten with the times, yet. If you're still a caveman with a landline, here are some compelling reasons to ditch that old-fashioned technology and embrace the 21st century:
Easier to get out of a conversation — It seems everybody is always calling at the wrong time, right? Thankfully, your mobile has your back! Just when the conversation is going south, the call drops. Or maybe the battery dies. Either way, cool beans!
Allows you to warp what people say — If you're not really paying attention when people call you, it's okay, because even if you are,
It's official: wireless carriers, like AT&T and Verizon Wireless, are taking on the condom industry.
"We already do everything on our mobiles," said FCC Chairman Ajit Pai at a conference organized by the CTIA, his former current allegiance. "They are probably the most personal tool a person uses in a day. That's why it's incredibly exciting that in the future, people may not be using condoms anymore."
Apple has recently begun publicly promoting and advertising this feature. "At Apple, we're very proud of how much our customers confide in us and how much they trust us," said Apple CEO Tim Cook. "We strive to make life for our customers as convenient as possible, and today, people have their iPhones with them at all times. It's really only a matter of time until c… — Read full post
In an effort to expedite the erradication of mankind by total sterility, Pampers has joined the growing number of companies using wireless technology to completely eliminate human fertility. To further this cause, they have unveiled Lumi smart diapers, a new and innovative way of reducing sperm and egg count from the get-go.
Pampers enthusiastically announced that this was an unprecedented way of ensuring that all future homo sapiens would be irradiated from the delivery table. "The wireless industry has already managed to get irradiating devices into every adult and teenager's pocket," a Pampers spokesperson announced. "Now, even children have them. People are getting exposed to large doses of RF radiatio… — Read full post