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eBay To Offer Bidding and Buy It Now For Relationships

Posted by Contributor

4 min read | 950 words | 13 views | 0 comments

For a while now, researchers and psychologists have been noting the marked increase in loneliness and depression throughout the last few decades. While some have been quick to pin blame for this phenomenon on the increase in electronic communications and the decline of physical socialization, companies like eBay are helping to reverse that trend.

"Today, people look to sites like eBay and Amazon for their shopping needs," Jamie Iannone, newly appointed CEO of eBay announced in a press release. "The ease of buying and selling on these platforms is simply unparalleled and unprecedented. What we're seeing today in society is that everything has become very 'transactional'. People want an easy way to get what they want, and a seamless medium to do that. We see this in the job market,… — Read full post

AT&T Offering Free Cancer To Students Due To COVID-19

Posted by Contributor

2 min read | 405 words | 5 views | 0 comments

AT&T has announced that it is giving free cancer to students as they adjust to learning from home.

According to a release from AT&T, qualified schools including K-12, colleges and universities across the country that are activating new lines for school-issued tablets, 4G LTE-enabled laptops and hotspot devices can get unlimited carcinogenic radiation for free for 60 days to offer to their students through May 22.

"We want to do our part to impact students during this difficult time," AT&T CEO Randall L. Stephenson stated in the press release. "Rather than charge students for our cancer-causing products during this public health crisis, we… — Read full post

New Videogame Shattering Sales Records

Posted by Contributor

3 min read | 624 words | 5 views | 0 comments

Grand Theft Auto is officially on its way out, as the new videogame "Electrosensitive" is breaking sales records, selling out in top video game outlets across the country.

"Electrosensitive" transforms the player into an electrosensitive individual, fully intune with her environmental surroundings. Players are dropped into a toxic 21st-century metropolis, full of electrosmog. Players level up by completing various tasks, many of which involve finding working payphones around town and then placing calls from them.

If that weren't difficult enough, players must also stay vigilant to avoid become debilitated and losing a life. A radiofrequency meter in the player's dashboard displays the current radiation levels in the environment, so players can guage their surroundings and … — Read full post

Bulb Dealer and Client Arrested In High Profile Smuggling Case

Posted by Contributor

2 min read | 315 words | 7 views | 0 comments

Two police cruisers were dispatched yesterday to break up an illicit deal that took place in the dark alley behind the 7th Street Mobil gas station. Both the dealer and the customer were taken into custody after the illegal transaction was interrupted.

Police were able to recover the contraband: six incandescent bulbs, enough to light a home without emitting dirty electricity or RF radiation for more than a year.

Smuggling incandescent light bulbs, which were outlawed years ago, is a felony in the United States and a serious crime. It is expected that both parties involved will be sentenced to life in prison for this violation.

Ramsey, the dealer, declined to answer our questions, while Stewart, one of Ramsey's clients, remained hysterical during the arrest.

… — Read full post

Young People Are Always Staring At Their Phones!

Posted by Contributor

1 min read | 160 words | 16 views | 0 comments

If we told you that young people today are staring at their phones more than ever before, you probably wouldn't be surprised. Yet, it is particularly noteworthy as the number of incidents involving blindly and numbly staring at a phone continue to increase. In one extreme case quite recently, it even resulted in the death of a millennial! Eager to see how this was impacting the community, we scoped out to see if we could capture any other incidents caused by people staring at their phones.

Our reporter in Seminole County, FL, staked out in a county park to discreetly record passerby. Within ten minutes, he was able to record the entire incident of a teenager, numbly staring at his phone, accidentally walk into a tree:

The pers… — Read full post

One Person Confirmed Dead In Bay Area After Walking Into Car

Posted by Contributor

3 min read | 772 words | 8 views | 0 comments

Ralph Devereaux, 39, of Berkeley, CA, has been confirmed dead by autopsy this morning. W. Hart, of Berkeley, CA, was there to witness the entire incident.

"To be upfront," Hart confided, "I don't feel sorry for the man. But, I did what I could to save him."

In an effort to recreate the incident, Hart gave us a play by play rundown of the last minutes of Devereaux's life.


Interview Transcript (10/10/2019):

HART: "I was waiting to call my friend at 1pm, so I was sitting on a bench next to a payphone downtown reading the newspaper, just minding my own business. And I really didn't notice that he was there, until he was - quite literally - on top of me. The dumb jerk just flat out walked into me sitting on the bench. At least, it was he that toppled… — Read full post

New Case Study Shows Consumers Value Inconvenience — And Are Willing To Pay For It

Posted by Contributor

3 min read | 841 words | 9 views | 0 comments

This may or may not come as a surprise to you, but it's still a bit interesting to actually see in an abstract what many top industry players have known for a long time: consumers love inconvenience — so much so, they are willing to pay more for it. A lot more.

How much more?

If you look at the entire technology landscape, you'll see an array of consumer products that are incredibly inconvenient, laughingly unreliable, and certainly guaranteed to fail. A common factor among all of them is that they are drastically overpriced in comparison with their more reliable siblings.

"Innovation in technology today basically consists of taking something good and making it worse," says Senator John Thune (R), Chairman of the U.S. Senate Commerce Subcommittee on Communications… — Read full post

New Proposal Announced to Combat Social Security Crisis

Posted by Contributor

3 min read | 644 words | 26 views | 0 comments

Ever since the Baby Boom, analysts down at the Social Security Administration have been feverously anticipating the massive decline in benefits available following the retirement of many Baby Boomers. Many Baby Boomers are currently retired or are retiring, and so unsurprisingly, Social Security raises are getting slimmer. In fact, it's projected the entire fund may even be wiped out in fifteen years.

This is why the Social Security Administration has been strategically collaborating with industry on looking at new ways to address the almost certain shortfalls.

"A large reason this is happening is decreasing birth rates following the Baby Boom," an anonymous source from SSA's Woodlawn office told us in a phone interview. "This is trend we're continuing to see, due to many … — Read full post

Apple Rebrands "AirPods" to "AirCancer"

Posted by Contributor

2 min read | 548 words | 18 views | 0 comments

Apple recently rebranded their line of wireless earbuds from "AirPods" to "AirCancer". Apple CEO Tim Cook gave us the scoop in a phone interview.

"At Apple, we take transparency very seriously," Cook told us. "We felt that as part of an ongoing effort to be more transparent to our customers, it just made a lot of sense. One problem today is that many people are not actually making as many phone calls using their iPhones. They're just using them to, you know, stream music and listen to podcasts. And as a result, they're not getting brain cancer nearly as fast as they would otherwise, since they're keeping it more often in their pocket than next to their head. Now, that has benefits, too, but brain cancer is unfortunately not one of them. An… — Read full post

8 Reasons To Use Mobiles

Posted by Contributor

3 min read | 624 words | 18 views | 0 comments

Perhaps one of the greatest advancements in humankind has been, undoubtedly, the mobile (aka cellular phone). Everybody uses a mobile for pretty much everything now, but unfortunately, not everyone has gotten with the times, yet. If you're still a caveman with a landline, here are some compelling reasons to ditch that old-fashioned technology and embrace the 21st century:

  1. Easier to get out of a conversation — It seems everybody is always calling at the wrong time, right? Thankfully, your mobile has your back! Just when the conversation is going south, the call drops. Or maybe the battery dies. Either way, cool beans!
  2. Allows you to warp what people say — If you're not really paying attention when people call you, it's okay, because even if you are,
… — Read full post

Forget Condoms: Mobiles Found To Be Effective Birth Control Agent

Posted by Contributor

5 min read | 1443 words | 11 views | 0 comments

It's official: wireless carriers, like AT&T and Verizon Wireless, are taking on the condom industry.

"We already do everything on our mobiles," said FCC Chairman Ajit Pai at a conference organized by the CTIA, his former current allegiance. "They are probably the most personal tool a person uses in a day. That's why it's incredibly excited that in the future, people may not be using condoms anymore."

Apple has recently begun publicly promoting and advertising this feature. "At Apple, we're very proud of how much our customers confide in us and how much they trust us," said Apple CEO Tim Cook. "We strive to make life for our customers as convenient as possible, and today, people have their iPhones with them at all times. It's really only a matter of time until co… — Read full post

Life as a POTS de-installer

Posted by Contributor

3 min read | 739 words | 12 views | 0 comments

Landlines are dropping fast all across the country. The most aggressive in the act has been Verizon, which has been actively practicing "copper neglect" in its service region, purposely letting lines deteriorate and threatening its employees with termination if they do their due diligence and repair them.

One Verizon lineman, whom we'll call Fred, agreed to speak with us anonymously about the rationale behind Verizon's tactics.

"At first, I thought it was kind of dumb," Fred said. "When my dad was a lineman, quality and service were important values. But of course, that's old-fashioned today. Nobody wants quality and service, anymore. That's… — Read full post

Pampers: Earlier and Earlier

Posted by Contributor

2 min read | 587 words | 40 views | 0 comments

In an effort to expedite the erradication of mankind by total sterility, Pampers has joined the growing number of companies using wireless technology to completely eliminate human fertility. To further this cause, they have unveiled Lumi smart diapers, a new and innovative way of reducing sperm and egg count from the get-go.

Pampers enthusiastically announced that this was an unprecedented way of ensuring that all future homo sapiens would be irradiated from the delivery table. "The wireless industry has already managed to get irradiating devices into every adult and teenager's pocket," a Pampers spokesperson announced. "Now, even children have them. People are getting exposed to large doses of RF radiation earlier and ea… — Read full post